goloptious: (Rose and Disappearing TARDIS)
FANDOM: Doctor Who
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: Yes, End of Season 2 (Doomsday)
WORD COUNT: 582


She had just been with him, moments ago. She’d decided to stay and for a few minutes he had been happy. He knew she would find a way to show up, Rose was crafty like that. It was one of the things he loved most about her.

Now he would never have a chance to tell her.

He knew he should have told her many times, but she never pushed and he had never been able to volunteer the information. Rose was…..well, she was special, unlike any other companion he had ever had in the TARDIS. Rose was fantastic.

He should have known that things wouldn’t go his way and as soon as he saw her fingers slipping and the void pulling her, he saw his mistake. He couldn’t be that happy, the universe would never let him. And when he saw her father – well, no, not her father but her alternate universe version of him – grab her just in time and take her to safety there had been a feeling of relief and yet also of pain.

She was alive and he’d never see her again.

Wait…..his brain started thinking faster than he ever had before. There was something, maybe someway….no, he shouldn’t…..it would alter the universe if he did. Could he do it?

He laughed. Of course he could do it, he was the Doctor. He could do whatever he wanted. But should he?

No. He realized this quickly even though a plan was formulating to use the energy from a world or a star to get to her. He was distracted by the brilliance of his plan and he began to work feverishly on it, running around the TARDIS and pressing buttons. He knew that if Rose were here she would be mocking him, claiming that he didn’t know what he was doing and that he was just pushing random buttons. Of course he knew what he was doing though. He pressed one last button and his face fell.

He couldn’t bring her back. A Lord over Time and Space could not possibly do it. The void had closed too quickly and there were only small cracks left. Soon those would be closed as well.

For a few seconds he considered going back on his own timeline. He could get in just before Pete did and scoop her right up into the TARDIS. She’d be safe and happy with him.

Or would she? Happy, yes. He knew that was a fact. But safe? Never. There were always Daleks and Cybermen and Jagrafess. She could never be safe with him. For the first time in a very long time, he realized that he wanted her to be safe more than he needed her to be with him.

Besides, hadn’t he proved to her that two versions of oneself in the same timeline was bad? He wasn’t sure he could bear to face another paradox. That had almost not turned out very badly.

What would happen if he didn’t get to Rose? He knew the answer before he had even asked it of himself. She would try to find a way, and she’d probably kill herself trying to do it. And possibly the universe. And maybe more than just hers.

He had to say goodbye. He needed her to know that she was special and that she meant something to him.

More selfishly, he just wanted to see her face one more time.

He set his plan in motion, smiling sadly.

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goloptious

May 2012

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